Monday, October 10, 2011

My dad would have been 58 today.

Today would have been my dads 58th birthday... kinda fitting that I got to watch the last episode of Rescue Me today... We use to always watch it together...

In thinking about my dad and life... I realized something about how people influence you... change you, help you to be someone.... I guess, that I kinda forget how people like my dad influenced me... I mean your just living day to day and they are always there -- so you don't really realize the great influence that they have on you or the SUBTLE influences. -- Typically I notice the influence people have on me when it is negative..... when it hurts or hinders my life... But after my dad passed away - I saw that I don't have the patience that I use to have, I don't have the ability to care for others the way I did.... I'm just not the same as I was... I guess because his influence or friendship is not there anymore.... it just makes me somehow LESS then how I use to be...

How we never KNOW really how someone makes our lives a better place or make US BETTER people... until they are not in our lives anymore.... not helping us BE who we "are." So I guess in celebrating my dads life... I see what he imparted/ planted and nurtured in mine..... And maybe in the same way... I am a tree that has been greatly pruned back.... and currently is less then what I was... but in time will bear the fruit that he labored to help bring out of me.

Thanks dad, I love and miss you.

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